I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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