if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
