I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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