So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
