I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
