HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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