I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Randomize
