only if we run a train.
done.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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