i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
