They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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