I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
