Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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