Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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