i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
