i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
