I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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