Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
