Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
