I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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