I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've blown a few things in my day
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
