Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
