I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
