let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
