Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
