So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
