i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
