I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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