i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think I am morally bankrupt
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
