Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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