Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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