dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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