She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
