If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
