he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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