The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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