My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
