Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
