You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
