you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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