was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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