You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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