absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
