i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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