I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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