They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
