Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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