He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
