I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
cat food counts as protein by the way
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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