Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
