The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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