We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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