I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
