And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
