Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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