If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
