your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
