it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
