He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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