I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
either way he was missing a nipple.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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