did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
